The Void

All of a sudden, whoosh...its gone. It takes a moment to bat an eyelid, but this one hit me from nowhere. It feels good in a way, there is a sense of self pity and retrospection - Not about what could have been done right, but about being a good enough material to be on the shelf. Done with challenging the powers that may be...done with attempts to defy all authority and power. Its time to submit and without any whims at that. No threads attached. I beg for solace....sounds all theatrical but it pierces real deep, makes you swallow hard and with gumption. Clenched fists and eyebrows competing for room...signs of breakdown or the ego still persists to fight another day? An investment gone terribly wrong or loss of a person you'll regret all throughout your life? How many times have you regretted anything...apart from that wonderful home run (baseball). Love was defined not a couple of hours ago as - Letting someone weild the capacity to wreck oneself in any which way with a hope or belief that she would not. Well she has.....and the effect is not all that bad.....dear dear - blasphemy..I've been trying to tell myself for more than a year now that this is it and all you have to say is - not all that bad????? Careful laddie...careful with words...for words have played traunt with you....who would know better :-)