Saturday, October 28, 2006

Galiyare - II

Khala ka zikr kiya tha usne, shayad apne dabte uthte roomanipan se kuch bharne ki bezuban koshish kar raha tha woh, maine use yeh likhkar bhej diya -

Taqazaa tha, ki ek tasawwuf si tishnagi jage, teri tasveer ke tasawwur se Ki tere taabish ki taasir, meri taqdeer ka ek talkh tamasha bane Ki zamindoz kar doon, mai woh taz-o-takht, woh shabab-e-seerat Ki teri nazron ke paimane, khuda ki panah ka paigam bane

Across the pond she ruminates over what was and what could have been, she isn't happy with the idea of giving him the freedom which he had already taken for granted and then she asks, "why do you write like this?"

Insaan jab bhi kuch likhta hai to shayad dil mein ek chahat hoti hai - koi ise padhe sarahe aur mujhe sunae, istemal kare in shabdon ka jahan yeh uchit hon. Aap likh kaisa bhi sakte hain, ya to gulazzar ki tarah sadharan shabdon mein ek muqqamal peshkash, ya mir taqi mir ki tarah zubani nafast se bhari nazm. Kuch yaad a raha hai -

Logon ne itni oonchi imartein bana di hain charon aur, ki woh mere hisse ka sooraj bhi kha gaye

Haan to hum baat khala ki kar rahe the, khala kyon aur kaise panapti hai -

Mere zehen ke nazdeek ek aahat si hui
Mujhe laga ki tere jism mein harkat si hui
Hasin makbare pe muqammal sa ek sher padha
Meri hokar bhi aye rab khala meri na hui

Har ek koshish ko ba-izzat darkinar karke, woh mere saath hi rehti rahi talkh-e-yaar ban ke
goya jism ko dhakne ki zaroorat thi kahin, woh nachati hi rahi mujhko sharmsar kar ke
Kisi ne pooch liya to hum bezuban nikale, usne samjha liya unhe mujh pe akhtiyar kar ke
Shayad khalayein aisi hi hoti ho ya rab.........

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Very incisive, the ending in particular. I loved the feeling it inspires.
But guess what caught my attention first, the poem that you wrote but which is all mine.

antardhvani-andardhvani said...

chaala baga raasaru,khala gurunchi .naaku telisi prapancham lo vunna 64 khalalo cheppalante meeru kuda oka khala anadam athishayokti kaadhemo(antha baaga raasaru).But u can make it more simpler -for :)as u told me that if we write something that should be able to communicate.Took a pretty longtime to understand but it is too good boss.Especially this sentence
"Meri hokar bhi aye rab khala meri na hui.........."
maasha allah kya baath hai?sab padkar sirf ye hi kaha sakthi
"kitna pyara tujhe rab ne banaya jee bhar dekhun .........."

antardhvani-andardhvani said...

chaala baga raasaru,khala gurunchi .naaku telisi prapancham lo vunna 64 khalalo cheppalante meeru kuda oka khala anadam athishayokti kaadhemo(antha baaga raasaru).But u can make it more simpler -for :)as u told me that if we write something that should be able to communicate.Took a pretty longtime to understand but it is too good boss.Especially this sentence
"Meri hokar bhi aye rab khala meri na hui.........."
maasha allah kya baath hai?sab padkar sirf ye hi kaha sakthi
"kitna pyara tujhe rab ne banaya jee bhar dekhun .........."

antardhvani-andardhvani said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Janaaze pe biche phool the, ki maut ko bhi khushboo de gaye...

Anonymous said...

...usne samjha liya unhe mujh pe akhtiyar kar ke
akhtiyar ka pehran kyon, hum to adam se khare the sijda kar ke;

aada hai uski, jamaal hai uska
hum to bus muntazar hain,
zehen ko har dum va kar ke.

Anon said...

I think the line you quoted goes like this:

Unchi imaaraton se makaan mera ghir gaya
Kuch log mere hisse ka sooraj bhi kha gaye