Well Done Kid

Bahut bahut mubarak ho, aaj mujhe swarth ka arth samajh aaya, aapki safalta se na jaane kyon athaah khushi mili. Aap jab jab aisa kuch kareinge, hum door baithe muskurayeinge, akele kahin khade hokar zor se hans padeinge, gungune coffee ke cup se kahienge - ise kehte hain aashaon pe khara utarna. Bravo ! Worldz a carpet tonight and I shall cheer your success.

Shiqast kha rahe hain.....maza aa raha hai

Kuch sochkar maine kahin kuch nirnay liye the, kuch baareekiyon ka khayal rakhkha tha aur kuch ko nazarnadaz kar diya tha. Aaj ek pal ke liye aisa laga mano, pairon tale zameen khisak gayi ho aur athah andheri khayi se woh nazarandaz bareekiyan bula rahi hon. Kitabon mei rakhe purane gulab ki pankhudiyan jaise choone se apni murjhahat ki taazgi kho deti hain, theek usi tarah dil-o-dimag ki sankri galiyon mei pade khayalat agar ched diye jayein toh woh apni gungunahat kho dete hain. Mujhe zindagi ek baar fir ehsaas dila rahi hai ki na koi chota bada tha aur na hi kabhi hoga, samay samay ki baat hai, hum aap jitni jaldi apni khushfehmiyon se nikal aayein utna achcha. Aaghat kam lagega

To Jaane

Pyar se ranjish ka maza uthao to jaane
Koson door rehte huye nazdeek samajh aao to jaane
Thahake maar ke hansna to sabko aata hai
Bilakhti aankhon ke darmiyan muskurao to jaane

Kahin mazhab, kahin iman, kahin rishton ki qaid hai
Meri yaadon ki giraft ko bargalaao to jaane
Kapdon ki silwaton ko kisi ka intezar rehta hai
Khare paani se inhe nam kar jaao to jaane

Pyar se ranjish ka maza uthao to jaane

Soch rahe hain ki kuch achcha likh devein
Kuch der aur sahi kalam ban jaao to jaane
Sawal saikadon aate hain tumhe har pahar
Inme se kuch ke jawab dete jaao to jaane

Pyar se ranjish ka maza uthao to jaane

Humei badnaam karne ki koshishein sabne kari
Do chaar ashar tareef ke budbuda jaao to jaane
Tumhari hansi, kabhi natak, kabhi roothne ka khayal aata hai
Jab kuch sanjeeda hon tab yaad na aao to jaane

Pyar se ranjish ka maza uthao to jaane

Sawal pet ka na hota to hum bhi shahenshah the
Is qadar hamari halat pe na taras khaao to jaane
Badi shiddat se apne lamhon ko tarasha tha
In haseen lamho ko hum se na churao to jaane

Pyar se ranjish ka maza uthao to jaane

Khudai

Tumhe Khuda banakar be-parwah ho gaye
Tumne khudai karke be-panah kar diya

What do We Call it?

This is totally like a pocketful of sunshine - kahin koi dost, humsafar, na jaane kya, aur uske shabdon ka tarkash


A leaf falls --And makes noise,
startles the phlegmatic whisper
of a pregnant silence,
In mourning.

Falls, cuts through
the empty stillness of the air,
that once was spirit
Rests on a grave,
of a million footsteps, and more
Feels. Truth, love, betrayal, sorrow,
And everything else,
that those hearts felt.
And the stomachs.

The leaf reverberates
with the echo of their rumbling.
Sleeps. Time turns it yellow.
Another leaf falls. And another.
We call it Autumn,
And walk over it anyway!

Shukriya

Kuch aur patthar uchal diye gaye hain is taraf
Chaliye saman-e-raste ka fir intezam ho gaya

Unke gile shiqawon ki fehrist badi lambi thi
Meri himaqaton ka byora sar-e-aam ho gaya

Saman-e-raaste ka fir intezam ho gaya

The Funny Way of Being Governed

So, someone said couple of years ago, "There is practically no incentive to work in / for the government apart from a hazy image of self / job satisfaction. No one shall pat your back or have a kind word to say when you do a good job time and again. But, the moment you committ THE most trivial of the lapses, they shall hound you and make you feel miserable." To this I had replied, "You must be kidding me, this country runs despite its rulers, the bureaucracy must be a steel frame from within, with a strong adhesive element to it."

Lo behold! Am being forced to think over and over again.

Losing Someone

So .......... what happens when you lose someone you knew, someone who was thrust on you, someone who was always on the radar but never blinked with the ferocity few others did, someone who was acutely aware of your presence and your perceived 'lightness of being', someone you'd like talking to intermittently, someone in whose presence you were both comfortable and otherwise, someone who'd order bread-butter in a restaurant after a gruelling walk, while you were hoping to share a full blown Andhra Thali, someone who'd mention nonchalantly - "waah ! tum apni fiat ko meri motorcycle ki tarah nacha lete ho," someone who'd play cricket with a gusto few could match, someone who was always trying to discover the Midas touch, someone who wasn't worldly wise but garnered love from quarters which mattered, someone who never looked inward, someone who revelled in the art of dithering and taking decisions well past the milestones, someone who was always prepared with a sermon or two at the drop of the hat, someone who always wanted to share and teach.....someone who taught more in his death than life.

You never know where people stand in your life, till they are finally gone....its unfortunate but true.

How Does One Reach Raushanai?

Need advise

Tam ko Naman

Vish peene ki kshamta ho gar
Haath me le le kali hala
Aankhon mei hon gar angaare
Sheesh jhukakar ga le aalha
Vishv tera gar simat raha ho
Jap le tu nav tam ki mala
Ye kshanbhangur deewali hai
Jal ja tu ban aahutishala
Harsh mein vismit daud raha hai
Rok lo usko, tod do vada
Yeh teri nishchit majboori
Tu hi saki.... tu hi hala

Ek Khayal

Zaroorat ban gaye ho, khuda na bano

Mujhe butparasti ki aadat nahi hai.

Full Circle

"This was your first home." Had chuckled Ma staring at the structure after what had seemed eons. A sultry Dehradun afternoon and an uncanny familiarity with the old colonial bunglow made me feel restless. I wanted to explore the house and ask those resposible - "Why would you partition such a beautiful bunglow into three?" It was FRI after that. The majestic academic building and huge lawns. We stood by the side of a gravel path and looked upward. Mussorie in all its innocence, completey unaware of me was a picture in tranquility. "Thats where we have the academy, as a child you were learning to walk in the corridor connecting kitchen with sitting room in the course director's bunglow," she wasn't done yet. "You were fascinated by the sight of gentlemen officers on horse backs and would clap aloud. Alas, you will not understand. ..... Well each to his own."

This was about 3 years ago and the clapping was summer of 1982.

As our car took the Rajpur road on the 30th, and familiarity began to knock hard, the above conversation played like a feature in my mind. With every hair pin bend and a gain in altitude, I was trying to answer myriad questions, some exstential and some prosaic. Is this homecoming, or the mountains were up to their usual trickery? Am I not the same person who defended vehmently, his idea of serving in the private sector. Did I not force myself to believe that Mussorie was a hill station best avoided because it would remind me of a place I should have been to but wouldn't go to because of reasons galore? Did I not pin to dine at the corner table of The Savoy, overlooking Dehra and sang praises of Kasmanda Palace to a dear friend while nibbling a dosa at Lexington?

Was woken out of my reverie by a phone call, "How are you - destiny's child? Have they allotted your cadre yet? Aren't you feeling great? Would you be the sahib, will they let you wear your tweed and those detestful cufflings?......."

With a cursory reply or two I hung up and the car drove past Library Point. 2km to the academy. Alas....each to his own, I guess life has a habit of coming full circle.

I don't know - call it Blogspot's gift !

लबों को सी के, आंखों को झुकाए हुए

इस दश्त में चल रहे हैं ख़ुद से पराये हुए

कभी खुदा कभी अपनों की कभी ख़ुद की याद आती है

यह कैसी दौड़ है कि हम ख़ुद से है शरमाये हुए

ज़ुबां संभाल ओ काफ़िर कि यह रास्ते ठीक नही

खुदा के नाम पर इंसान मिटाए जाते हैं

तेरी आवारगी के आलम कुछ यूँ हैं

मील के पथ्थरों पर तेरे नाम पाए जाते हैं,

मुनासिब हो अगर मेरा खप जाना, दुआ कर कि यह आखिरी हरक़त हो

इस हश्र पर मुमकिन है कि कुछ कसीदे आ जाए, कुछ शरमाते, कुछ सकुचाये हुए

बुलंद रहे यह मौसिकी और इसके खयालों की ताज़गी, कलम को इंतज़ार रहेगा

शहीद हो चुके हैं कितने ख़यालात, कुछ निब के नीचे दबते, kuch .....hell ! Typing in hindi sucks big time, this has to be one of the most user un-friendly applications ever, they could have asked us to get a hindi keyboard and practice shusha or mangal fonts for that matter !

But I shall try again...another day another time, when patience stands by me and flow of thoughts is not hampered by gtalk going tak tak tak or blogger simply refusing to co-operate :-(

आओ हिसाब करें

ज़रा हिसाब देते जाइये, ज़िन्दगी का बही खाता है

ज़रा शर्म दिखाइए , ऊपर भी एक विधाता है

किसी ने खूब कहा उम्र मरहम देती है

चोट कुरेदते जाइये गर इसी में मज़ा आता है

फतह की आग में झुलस गए होंगे

हमारी आंखों के खारे पानी को मौका दीजिये

सुकून में न सही, मुगालतों की मैय्यत ही सही

यह बन्दा कभी न कभी तो काम आता है

चोट कुरेदते जाइये गर इसी में मज़ा आता है

मन नही किया आगे लिखने का

घात !

अश्क के बहाव थाम, होंठ पर उसी का नाम

चेतना की ओट में, स्पर्श भूल गए राम

कई बहाव आ गए, कई मंज़िलें जलीं

कोई कुछ न कर सका, हार हाथ फिर लगी

कोटि कोटि तालियों के बीच अकेले निदान

भीड़ में हो ढूंढते परिचित पलकों का झुकाव

आज वही नीर है, शब्दों की जागीर है

तरकश से निकलते हैं वही पुराने से बाण

आओ हाथ थाम लें, कटु यादों को त्याग दें

नव गगन की लालिमा में कुछ नया अलाप दें

अर्ध विराम लगा लगा के, तुम बहुत हो थक गए

नई लीक रखने के वादे कहाँ गए

आओ जमुनी तले कुछ पलों की याद में

भाव विभोर हो जीवन की फरियाद में

सुमन अर्पित करें इन चंद लम्हात को

आओ पुनः जी लें उस छोटे से घात को

When .......

When mind fails to keep up with ambient athleticism and nerves begin to burst at the seams

When eyes plan to see what you want to and the finger tips begin to feel abstract nouns

When self cries out in agony of latent mediocrity and lips tremble at the sound of I

When motives haunt your innocence and reality is a painted ship upon a painted ocean

When milieu is defined by horizon and margins creep over to occupy your pages

When sunshine shies away from you and raindrops stop just above your head

When blase sarcasm is confused for wit and words begin to dictate the poem

When lesser known fears assume unknown proportions and fullstops are welcome

Then lets talk and take the long promised walk .... ..... ..... .....

Kuch Din Pehle Kisi Ko Intezar Karte Dekha.....

Thirakte kadmo aur nasheeli saanso ke darmiyan kahi gayi baat

Chaukhat ke paas badalte zamane ki raushni ko andhere ki maat

Aangan mei padi tooti charpayi par os ke boondon ki bisaat

Tumhare dabe hue kadmo ki aahat ki aarzoo mei ghar ke kapat

Gusalkhane mei tapakte pani ka sannate ke hriday par aaghat

Aur kisi bebas ma ki aankhon mei guzarte intezaar ke lamhat

kuch aise hi -

Halqi peeli chadar odh kar karvat leti hai har raat, karvat leti hai har raat

Kitne khushnaseeb hain hum ki na kal ka hosh hai aur kal ki yaad

Kahan Aur Kaise

Keh gaya koi shayar ki badchalni kahan gayi

Thumri, kothe, paan ki peek wali ada kahan gayi

Surahi mei bhari huyi desi mehek kahan gayi

Peekdan, dastarkhan, meethi zuban, nigehbaan 

In masroof adaaon ki aabo hawa kahan gayi

Ab koi gazal dekhe bina gazal likhe to kaise likhe

Bina kisi tedhi raah ke kalam bhatke to kaise bhatke

Bina guleri, paan ke imaan kaise dagmagaye.....

Fir kabhi likheinge yaaron...

 

Galat Samajhna Mujhko ......

Galat samajhna mujhko, teri taqdeer ka fasana tha

Mere aagosh mei, teri yaadon ko yun hi toot jana tha

Salaamat rahe ye jazba, ki tere sajde mei sar jhukta hai

Gum-e-ishq ki kabr pe kafir, hume akele hi jana tha

Sazayafta mujrim, muqqarrar kar diye gaye hain hum

Teri zulfon ki salakhon ka parda, bas ik bahana tha

Galat samajhna mujhko, teri taqdeer ka fasana tha

Huye hain qatl kayi armaan mere, teri masjid mein

Halaavat-e-zindagi ka jaam, chalkate hi jana tha

Kahin paiband na lag jaaye, khuda tere resham pe

Hume do chakkiyon ke beech, yun hi piste jana tha

Galat samajhna mujhko, teri taqdeer ka fasana tha

Mausam ke mijazon mein tabdeeliyan dekhin

Aasman pe badlon ka vark badal gaya

Chashme ke dhaar kuch tez ho chali

Par tere gum ki bandish ko, mujhe hi gana tha

Galat samajhna mujhko, teri taqdeer ka fasana tha

Raat ki kaalikh mei, tum hume gore dikhe

Surme ki thandak tale, hamari aankh lag gayi

Jab uthe to quran pak par haath rakhkha tha

Mai hi mujrim tha aur mujhe hi faisala sunana tha

Galat samajhna mujhko, teri taqdeer ka fasana tha

Kaanpte honthon se, tere husn ka deedar kiya

Jhapakti aankhon se, maathe ko tere choom liya

Chala yeh silsila lekin, mai apne chabootare pe neelam tha

Teri maujoodagi mahaz, mazak-e-ishq ka afsana tha

Galat samajhna mujhko, teri taqdeer ka fasana tha

Goya lamhe, din, hafte, mahine, saal beet gaye hain

Teri yaadon ki baarsih mei, bahut bheeg gaye hain

Zakhm ko hara rakhne ki koshish fir bhi jaari hai

Tujhse gila shiqwa sach nahi, mahaz dostana tha

Galat samajhna mujhko teri taqdeer ka fasana tha.....

Pata Nahi.....

kis raushani ka daman pakad kar tu yahan aaya hai

kis rehnuma ki hausalaafzai itni muqqamal ho gayi

kis rishtey ki dor ki taabish ne yeh chamak de di

kis raastey ke mod par manzil dikhai di

kiski saans ki garmi ne yeh badddimag hausala diya

kis rangrez ke gulab ne tujhe sarobar kar diya

kis vakaye ke jhooth ko tune sach samajh liya

kis der ke intezar ko tune haq samajh liya

kis zulf ki chaanv ko tu lapete tehel raha

kis junoo ki yaad ko tu samete tehel raha

Is dasht mei kai firkaparast hain ................