Implicit did someone say

Indian culture is implicit. Sweeping statement to pass, but how often have we encountered a situation when those whom we hold very close to ourselves were expected to understand that wink, that little snigger, .... those eyes which were on the very verge of watering? The closer an individual is; the lesser the need for words, come to think of it language seems to be a proxy to communicate only with the 'outsiders'. Someone said,"Its far easier to plough in sand, but nothing grows, on the other hand try ploughing in clay and you've had it..." We, the humans in more ways than one lie in this spectrum from sand to clay. Everyone would want to believe that he/she is on terra firma vis a vis needed and appreciated communication, but it seldom happens beyond the formal/social gatherings. Later laddie...gotta go

The Void

All of a sudden, whoosh...its gone. It takes a moment to bat an eyelid, but this one hit me from nowhere. It feels good in a way, there is a sense of self pity and retrospection - Not about what could have been done right, but about being a good enough material to be on the shelf. Done with challenging the powers that may be...done with attempts to defy all authority and power. Its time to submit and without any whims at that. No threads attached. I beg for solace....sounds all theatrical but it pierces real deep, makes you swallow hard and with gumption. Clenched fists and eyebrows competing for room...signs of breakdown or the ego still persists to fight another day? An investment gone terribly wrong or loss of a person you'll regret all throughout your life? How many times have you regretted anything...apart from that wonderful home run (baseball). Love was defined not a couple of hours ago as - Letting someone weild the capacity to wreck oneself in any which way with a hope or belief that she would not. Well she has.....and the effect is not all that bad.....dear dear - blasphemy..I've been trying to tell myself for more than a year now that this is it and all you have to say is - not all that bad????? Careful laddie...careful with words...for words have played traunt with you....who would know better :-)

Then Now and After

Nov 18 - Dec 2, only these many days, but whats been life upto? As KP invited me, a sense of self pity rose within behind the veiled smile - his act was cocking a snooke at all I had planned, at all I had hoped for. The grind was no more so simulating, a trip to home didn't ease matters and then happened - yesterday. Emoticons they sell on every other page, such frivolity of human mind should be punished, for they know not their JAVA scripts trivialize the spectrum of heart. "I am ok" and you follow it up with a smile, either I've completely lost it or you must be joking Mr. S. Its not OB to reiterate the fashionable I'm Ok- u r Ok trivialization of sentiments. We live in hard times, we need to see through the facade be it from the sound the pebble makes when it hits the surface of water or be it sentences which are used without any thought. It shall ease out and the proverbial true calling will manifest itself right here, right in our midst - but it shall take time and we have no choice to bid our share of it. I should not love langauge, it hurts and wounds and leaves me with no explainations when people seek answers to questions they create. Helpless and tired I sit, staring at a screen which reads - Compassion denotes deep awareness of the suffering of another and the wish to relieve it: “Compassion is not weakness, and concern for the unfortunate is not socialism” (Hubert H. Humphrey).